Sometims when I feel an unusually large bowel movement coming soon, I’ll weigh myself before

and after to determine the magnitude of the feces I’m shedding.

Every time someone tells me about their personal life, the song “Don’t Care” by Obituary comes on in my head. I can’t drown it out and it is very loud.

It may be how I feel but makes it really difficult to listen to people

One day me and my girlfriend and I went to my house after school.

I did not take the time to greet my dog when I came in the door because we were too focused on other activities.

We went down to my room and started having sex on my bed. My bed is very low to the ground and before I knew it my dog ran down the hall extremely excited to see me home, and walked up behind me and licked my balls.

I felt very violated and could not continue but I never told my girlfriend why. I think she thought it was because of her but really it was just because my dog licked my balls.

Whenever I see an obese woman I immediately fantasize about making intimate love with her in a forgotten motel room on the west side of Chicago.

I’m wearing a wife beater and she has on hiking boots. I imagine beads of sweat dripping off her hairy lip as she whispers, “you’ll always be your fathers son”

My mother cleans her vibrators in the Dishwasher and she doesnt think i know. Its disgusting and i hate it

i’ve masturbated drunk and high in the colorado river… during a lightning storm.

When I was 19 I hooked up with a 43 year old man I met online.

He was married, with kids. We would go to cheap hotels with mirrored ceilings. The kind that rent by the hour. I was practically a virgin.

Only had sex once before, and that guy was just…bad. J, however, truely awoke me sexualy. I had my first orgasm with him.

He taught me a lot about BDSM play, and helped me to become very empowered and confident in my sexuality. There were nights that we’d just sit up and talk for hours. I owe a lot to him.

I know how lucky I was to meet someone that was so good to me, and good for me, in such a fashion. Our relationship lasted a couple years, but eventually faded. I hear from him about once a year, just checking in to see how my world is.

I hope he is well. Perhaps he’s found himself another young plaything.