One time, when i was at my house having sex with my then
girlfriend, i heard a disguisting sound as we switched positions.

The room was quiet for a few seconds

as i pondered what the fuck just
happened.
Finally, I just asked her.. “Did you just fart”?

“Oh My God Yes!!!” She replied. “Your going to break up with me
now!”

“No”, […]

i was working at a bible camp one summer

and one night we were bored so we decided to light our farts on fire, this girl who i was really attracted knew i farted like crazy and had some massive ones, so i felt one coming on, and when i let it loose it was a […]

Sometims when I feel an unusually large bowel movement coming soon, I’ll weigh myself before

and after to determine the magnitude of the feces I’m shedding.

Whenever I see an obese woman I immediately fantasize about making intimate love with her in a forgotten motel room on the west side of Chicago.
I’m wearing a wife beater and she has on hiking boots. I imagine beads of sweat dripping off her hairy lip as she whispers, “you’ll always be your fathers […]

My mother cleans her vibrators in the Dishwasher and she doesnt think i know. Its disgusting and i hate it